Read every thing I can get my hands on and tried it all. Nothing works. She has lost all electronics, been grounded and she is in therapy. I am so stressed out over her that I tend to get a bit mean sometimes not a good thing and it makes me feel bad I am tired at this point and giving up. This is definitely a difficult issue for many parents! You are not alone! A family therapist or a local Family Crisis Intervention Unit can work with both the parents and the teen to find a resolution.
There is no easy solution, but with patience and professional guidance, it is possible to get to a better place! My son is 15 years old. We have enrolled him in the on-campus ROTC program as well as contacted the counselors and all teachers. He is even going to tutoring three times a week after school.
He still seems to have no interest in studying or doing his homework. I have addressed all the issues that I think you may have. I have questioned him grounded him and have taken away All Electronics indefinitely. What do you do if this problem has been an ongoing problem since the beginning of school? He has even threatened to quit school. His blatant disregard for his grades is causing me stress and not him.
I feel for all parents going through this situation because we can care all day long but until he cares nothing will change. Nothing is more difficult than wanting the best for your child, but watching them throw it away. I know you feel helpless, stressed and frustrated. You are not alone — many parents go through this difficulty!
Unfortunately, there is no easy solution or perfect answer — every situation and every person is different. We also always encourage families in these situations to seek out family counseling. Sometimes an outside observer can offer ideas that we never think of ourselves! We wish you the very best of luck! I am going through the same exact thing. My son is almost The feeling of hopelessness is setting in so fast for me. We have done all of the above.
Its so heart-breaking. The last and only thing he LOVES to do and looks forward to is hockey and we finally took that away last night. Just hates school work. Since you posted this, have you tried something different that has given you results? Any suggestion would be so welcomed. Instead of hockey is ballet. I am at my wits end. She is a bright xhild who had all As in the first quarter, then started lowering her grades anf I realized it was because she was not doing her homework.
She got 3 Ds in the 3rd quarter on the 3 subjects that she does not like: math and office productivity and the one that she needs to put a little effort. As in the rest because ahe like it. I have taken electronics and let her therapist know. We do have screaming matches and eventually she calms down and understands that she os not doing her work but in 1 or 2 weeks she is at it again.
She is a good child, kind and very smart. Your son sounds like my son. He is not disrespectful and a joy to be around. All he cares about his soccer. He is a freshman in high school with low grades failing algebra.. I got him a tutor. Please help me help my son. My step son 13 and a freshman in high school. He just will not do him homework at all… He doesnt miss school but he is failing all classes. Terrible test scores and is down right disrespectful to his teachers peers and to his little brothers too.
Tried everything… He doesnt seem to want to anything to help. Any advise? Our son was adopted, lost his adoptive parents and we are the fourth set of parents he has known. Follow the above… It does work… We moved all his electronic devices into different rooms: some rooms give him privacy, some rooms makE sure he has time with us so we keep up with who we are dealing with and we are building a good study pattern for his main exams and we are all getting to know each other much better.
The important thing was to take the additive habit of electronic gadgets away. He now does more activities with us and opening up more. We worked together on a ladder chart that you climb as he accomplishes main milestones.
If he is unsuccessful we have built in backup options or ways to get there. It has all the things he needs to do to get what he wants and the consequences if he misses a step or two he has backup steps.
OMG I am living all of these nightmare with my 15 and 12 year old. Just got an email today that my 12 year old had 30 minutes to do an assignment and turned it in blank. The last 2 years of middle school he flunked a couple of classes during one semester then turned around a little bit and passed the next semester by a narrow margin.
Went to summer school for the flunked classes and since the summer school is all online he completed both classes in a week and a half. This year he is a freshman in high school and he is failing all his classes, except 2 English and ROTC. His dad and I are at our wits end. I think we should pray for them and encourage ,lets talk to them what they would like to become ,give them time to think and show love to them. I have the same exact situation as Cat and Pete. My daughter is 14 years old.
And its not just getting it done, its turning it in too. I know its not because she is having issues with the work itself because some of her missing work is for a Health class. This is easy stuff! She loves to read and is very good at it.
She scores at a college level. And this is something that she IS actually completing. In my eyes, its pure laziness. I have taken away everything you can imagine. The other day she sat at the kitchen table and literally refused to do any homework. She just sat there and scribbled on a notepad. Im at a loss. Im exhausted from getting emails from all her teachers saying how bad she is doing. I tired of talking with her about it and getting yelled at for it.
Any suggestions would be MUCH appreciated. I feel the same. My son is the same. I have so many talks to him and explain to the best of my ability how important it is and I am here to help him. But all he does is continue with what his doing or roll his eyes.
Feeling frustrated. Look like you are just describing my 11 year old daughter, and she is not just refusing to do her homework, but she also refuses to clean her room or help with anything in the house!! Hey Fabs! No unfortunately I have still not found a solution.
She is now 15 and a Freshman in high school. She has been failing both Math and Science since the beginning of the school year. She never even brings a backpack to school! I am seriously at a loss with her. I just keep telling her now that she is in High School and her grades are more important than ever.
She never does anything around the house and when we do ask her to do something simple, she gets so angry right away. The comment made by Cat could have been written by me. Our son is exactly this and the same age. The article is good. He just flatly refuses. He gets more and more referrals and then detentions. This worked for a while but then he forgets and then is behind and gets another detention.
He ended last year with negative referral points. We were shocked when his 3yrs elder sister received just one. Little did we know what was coming! We have met with his teachers on my occasions. They have been very supportive, but still no result. We have absolutely no idea how to connect with this child.
Any help, from anyone, would be very, very most welcome. We have a 14 year old 8th grader and nothing seems to work. We have tried reward. He just says he hates the teachers and the school work but loves seeing his friends at school. My husband contends that just getting harder on him will work. He is a good kid otherwise. He enters High School next year and we are not sure what to do. Do we just let him fail while keeping any privileges here at a minimum?
At some point he will figure out that the person he is harming is himself, right? I read your article. We have no school counselor to consult. His teachers give homework but short of walking into each classroom with him each day I have no way of making sure he brings it home.
Please help if you can. Hi Cat, This could have been written by me! Has the situation improved one year on? I am at wits end. I think this is often a good time to seek advice of a school guidance counselor. A must-read for parents of high school teens in my eyes.
Ask Your Teen Most of the time, parents feel a little shocked when they are confronted with a school problem. Develop Solutions with Your Teen Once parents feel like they understand the problem, they should sit down with their teenager and brainstorm a list of possible solutions to the given situation. Establish Expectations and Rules In general, parents should establish rules and expectations about homework based on their individual child.
Final Thoughts… Experts say that the best thing parents can do when faced with school problem is stay calm and open-minded. Like this: Like Loading Jazmin December 9, pm. Please help Loading Matt March 11, pm. Olivia April 27, pm. Kim Hadzima October 13, pm. Jaz March 19, pm. Mae November 14, am. Courtney April 30, pm. Bonnie S Flores April 7, am.
Sortoria Miller November 15, am. Sands September 28, am. I feel for all parents going through this situation because we can care all day long but until he cares nothing will change Loading Candice February 13, pm. Keep in mind that school refusal is often tied to anxiety. Explore signs of anxiety in younger kids and older kids , and reach out to a health care provider if you have concerns. Because differences are our greatest strength Donate Opens new window.
Why support Understood? Quick tip 1. Go to slide 1. Quick tip 2. Go to slide 2. Quick tip 3. Be patient and clear. Go to slide 3. Quick tip 4. Manage your expectations. This article is part of. Learn more. Dive deeper Complaining, avoiding, or refusing? How to tell if school refusal is temporary. Next steps. Related topics Avoiding and procrastinating School struggles Stress and anxiety.
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